Things to never say to a VIP girl (lol) :-)

Some things are just better left unsaid. Here are just a few things that top my list:

  • "I hope you're good!" (Doesn't this always go without saying anyhow?)
  • "Are you clean?" (Honestly, if she wasn't clean, do you really think she's going say so? Lol...)
  • "Are you the law?" (Since it is completely legal for po-po's to lie, and lie they do, this question is rendered senseless. Do your homework and you wouldn't even need to ask this in the first place.)
  • "This will be the easiest bunch of roses you will ever get!" (Just sounds really tacky to be honest. Anytime that the subject of the flowers comes up during a visit it kind of kills the spirit in the air. Better to just avoid that topic.)
  • "How about a first timers discount?" (What about being a first timer do you think deserves a lower rate? lol... Discounts are given due to loyalty, out of thankfulness, or just because we care for that person. If we havent ever seen you then none of those conditions apply.)
  • "I've only got XX roses right now but I promise Ill come and see you once a week if I can come today." (Please PLEASE don't expect us to take your word for anything when we have never met you or even laid eyes on you yet! You could be the most trustworthy person on earth, or the most untrustworthy... We have no idea which and we have to see and experience to make that judgement. It can't be done just on your word unfortunately. Also, I can't tell you how many times we have heard this from people that never intend to make a repeat visit- they're just trolling for the quick discount. Because of those people, this line has been given an ill reputation unfortunately.)
  • "I promise/I swear/Trust me" (Again, hunny- we don't know you from Adam, and so words are rendered questionable. Come see us, prove you are trustworthy, show us you stick to your word, and there will never be a need to even say 'I promise' because we will already know you can be taken at face value and your word is strong.)
  • "Wanna make a trade?" (Sorry hun, but tacky tacky tacky! If we were in the biz of trading then we'd be listed on Craigs List in the "Trading for goods" column... If you see 'trading available' on an ad then by all means, go for it! But if you don't, please refrain from asking this.)
  • "How many have you had/seen today?" (We don't ask you when the last time you took a shower was, or who the last person you were intimiate with was, so please don't ask super personal questions such as this that have no bearing on our visit or our time together.)
  • "Is that your real name?" (Yes, it is, but generally if someone isn't using their true handle then there is a reason for it, and she obviously does it for a reason, so please don't ask this. Besides, does it honestly matter anyhow? And have you ever been asked that by a VIP girl before? Im guessing the answer is no, never. lol)
  • "You deserve so much better than this." (We do? Because last time I checked I am living my life independently, freely, happily, and making the choices that I desire... When you say this to a girl you may think you are coming across as caring but honestly it just sounds judgemental as if you are implying that we are making a huge mistake with our lives and need to get our sh*t together. Lol... Which Im sure that isn't what you mean, but that is how we take it. I have never personally met a VIP girl that hated her life or despised getting a phone call.)
  • "Why don't you have a boyfriend/Why aren't you married?" (Because we aren't! Lol... Chances are that if we were there would be no way we'd be sitting there together with you having a great time together, so just please be thankful that we chose the single life and let it be.)

Those are just a few that I have come across that I thought I could share. Please don't take offense if you have read one on the list that you have been known to ask before. We are human - we make errors - no biggie! Also I say all of this with loving intent. Im not atttempting to bully or shame anyone in any manner. Lets face it, women and men are on different ends of the spectrum... Our brains are wired very differently and when you may think you are coming aross as totally legit and cool, the reality may be the opposite. Us women do this ALL the time as well! (For example, the classic "I'm FINE hunny" when you know darn well that we are NOT fine. lol!)

If you are at a loss for conversation during a visit think of things that you would ask a female if you met her out in public... What are your hobbies; what do you do in your spare time; what kind of music do you like; have you seen this latest movie/TV show/sports game... Those are just a few subjects that are neutral, not super personal, and can warm up the start of any visit. Also, if you are at a loss for conversation and your gal isn't attempting to fill the silence at all herself then you may want to consider seeking out alternative arrangements next time. It is really up to the VIP girl to make you comfortable and at ease, and make sure that your time with her is enjoyable. 

Thats it for me today folks! Have a Happy New Year, and hope to see you sooner than later! *smooch* ;-)