If you needed a laugh...

- VEGAS TRIP -

Husband and Wife are having a fight. Wife has HAD IT! She marches upstairs and starts packing her bags...

Husband - "Where are you going?!"

Wife - "I'm moving to Vegas. I heard that I can make $300 doing what I do for you for free."

(Man starts packing his bags, too.) 

Wife - "Where do you think you are going?"

Husband - "I'm coming with you. I've just GOT to see how you're going to survive in Vegas on $600 per year."

(BaHAHAHAHA!!!)

- MEDICAL FACT: -

If a woman drinks two glasses of wine per day, it increases the chance of a stroke. But, if you let her finish the whole bottle, she'll most likely suck it as well!

- AMERICA'S NEW HEALTHCARE PLAN -

On her recent trip to the United States, the Queen Of England was touring one of the USA's top hospitals. She was thoroughly impressed until when passing one room, she sees a male patient masturbating into a wad of tissues, as a nurse stood at his bedside, looking on. "Oh my GOODNESS!" said the Queen, "That's disgraceful! What's the meaning of this?!" The doctor leading the tour immediately explains, "So sorry, your ladyship, this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen and will explode, killing him, if not released. Therefore, they need to be emptied out at least five times per day." The Queen is awash with relief and replies, "Ah, I see. Very well then, carry on." On the next floor they soon pass a room where a young nurse was on her knees at a patients bedside, giving him a blow job. "Oh my GOD!" Says the Queen, "What on EARTH is happening in THERE?!" The doctor glances in and responds "Same condition, better health plan."

- HE TRIED TO TELL HER, BUT... -

A woman is in labor, screaming and shouting in immense pain. "Get this OUT OF ME! Give me some PAIN MEDS or something!" She turns to her husband and says "YOU did this to me, asshole!"

He casually replies, "Speaking of assholes, that's where I wanted to stick it, remember? But you said no, that it would hurt too much. NOW who's laughing?"

Hehehe Hahaha =-D

I hope that perked up your day a bit! Life is too short to take everything so seriously. My motto is, laugh whenever possible, as hard as possible, as long as possible- unless there wasn't anything to laugh at, because then people will just think you belong in a mental institution. LOL! Wishing you the best of days, and (for the hottest of nights) give me a call! Hope to see you sooner than later, sweets!! *Smooch* -Rissa

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